“Then, it’s me and my machine, for the rest of the morning, for the rest of the afternoon, and for the rest of my life.”
In his song, “Millworker”,[i] James Taylor wrote and sings about a female millworker who is unhappily trapped in the boring, meaningless, and repetitive rhythm of her life. Trapped! Stuck! Depressed! Feeling hopeless! That is how most of our clients who have been sexually abused in their childhood or adolescence had felt about the burden and impact that they carried within themselves. Feeling trapped, powerless, worthless, hopeless … “for the rest of my life.”
There Is Hope! For Adult Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse by was written by Herbert Jay Rosenfield, ACSW, LCSW, BCD, to assist the healing for many CSA survivors around the world, to be helpful to their family members, and to be informative for other therapists.
It is available for purchase in hardcover, paperback or Kindle edition on Amazon.com.
Written by a caring, experienced male mental health professional, this 12-chapter non-fiction book explains how child sexual abuse occurs, who are the perpetrators, how the perpetrators access and entrap their victims, the long-term damage that results, and the potential successful interventions in the process of therapy. The valuable progress that actual adult clients have accomplished is presented through disguised case examples of courageous people who have been victims of child sexual abuse, worked hard in therapy, and grown and healed. The final chapter is “The Hopefulness Chapter”, and Rosenfield presents societal interventions to better reach and assist victims in their healing and in working together to reduces child sexual abuse in the future, so that There Is Hope!
In this book, Herb wants to convey real encouragement for optimism to survivors and to their caring supporters that There Is Hope! …
- to emotionally and intellectually better understand ‘what happened’,
- to have the opportunity and the courage to state aloud what had occurred,
- to gain empowerment over your past,
- to have permission & assistance to be ANGRY at your perpetrator(s) instead of yourself,
- to improve your body image and self-esteem,
- to achieve more normalized, more balanced lifestyles,
- to participate in healthy intimate relationships,
- to parent your children well, in safe, loving, nurturing households, and
- to lead a healthier, happier, more successful life, now and in the future!
Wendy Maltz, LCSW, DST, an Oregon Licensed Clinical Social Worker who earned her Doctorate in Sex Therapy, offered this very succinct working definition that she keeps in mind when providing treatment to all sexual abuse survivors, regardless of their age: “Sexual abuse is harm done to a person’s sexuality through sexual domination, manipulation, and exploitation.”[ii]
However, in our own communities, we are still not adequately accepting the well-documented reality that it is NOT primarily ‘stranger-danger’ that places our children at risk. Surely, there have been victims whose sexual assault was perpetrated by a primarily unknown or a completely unknown stranger. The little boy who was pulled into a stranger’s car. A teenager is raped by someone who was breaking into her home. A college freshman was assaulted on campus by a stalker while she was out jogging alone. A young partier, who was slipped a date-rape drug at a party or in a bar, is rendered confused, vulnerable, and sexually assaulted. Certainly, there are some dangerous strangers out there. As a result, we all do have to be aware of our surroundings and be sensibly vigilant in unfamiliar settings. And we do need to teach our kids about maintaining their appropriate personal safety from strangers.
Nonetheless, we must provide parents, educators, and kids with adequate information about the dangers of molestation, rape, and incest by the ‘non-stranger’. The website of RAINN – Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network – indicates that an estimated 93% of perpetrators of sexual abuse are known to the child. About 34% of perpetrators are family members, ~59% are acquaintances, and only about 7% of perpetrators of child sexual abuse are strangers to the child.[ii] If you are reading There Is Hope! as a survivor yourself, sadly, you probably will agree.
Every victim of child sexual abuse is injured.
At the start of most of the chapters of There Is Hope!, you will meet clients that were victimized by perpetrators who were known to them. Each of them worked hard in therapy and made significant healing and improvements in their lives. Their disguised stories will be presented to you and you may identify with them, learn from them, and be motivated to heal, be healthier, and be happier!
As a result of being victimized, each of these clients: experienced betrayals that created a significant vulnerability level to manipulation by others; had much lower self-esteem than deserved; carried diagnoses of anxiety and depression; was burdened by shame and guilt, even during years of amnesia; was capable of achieving education beyond high school, but only 1 of the 11 had accomplished that; and the abuse created a negative impact on her/his body-image, relationships, and adult sexuality. And the damage to each of them went uniquely and significantly beyond just those common symptoms.
* Chapter 1, Olive was assaulted once by a neighbor; as a result, was on disability from seizures.
* Curtis, introduced in Chapter 2, was perpetrated upon by the man wearing the powerful roles of minister and community leader, resulting in multiple addictions, financial losses, and divorce.
* Marie, whom you will meet in Chapter 3, was abused by her father and a family friend, causative of her PTSD, amnesia, and alcoholism.
* Chapter 4 opens with the story of Irene, who was sexually abused by her father, uncle, cousin, and stepfather, creating psychogenic amnesia to her 100s of assaults from age 5 until she was 17.
* Hunter shares with you in Chapter 5 that his mother was his perpetrator, causing his severe headaches and addictions.
* Chapter 6’s Ursula entered therapy with “I have Borderline Personality Disorder”, a product of an alcoholic mother and sexual abuse by her brother, and ended up with her drug overdose death.
* Jaynie, in Chapter 8, shares her painful story of physical and sexual abuse by both her mother and father, and others in their Satanic Cult community, causing social phobias and dissociation.
* Layla, our Chapter 9 client’s story, after years of therapy, is still not sure who her childhood perpetrator was that triggered her underachievement, overweight, and avoidance of sex.
* Chapter 10’s Emily, victimized in her home by several male family members, had total amnesia, alcoholism, and eating disorders.
* Fred, our Chapter 11 client’s story, had alcohol and sexual addictions resulting from his neighbor’s sexual abusiveness.
* And finally, in Chapter 12, Norah’s family of origin’s dysfunction and the abuse by her brothers and cousins precipitated her anorexia, promiscuity, and marital problems.
This authorship endeavor is motivated by these worthwhile clients and by the many other women and men who have allowed us to earn their trust, who have taught us how to be of assistance, and who have been successful in gaining greater control over their life’s ship! I am very proud of them! My clients have taught me that There Is Hope! … to achieve significant healing from childhood sexual abuse victimization, to move ahead from having been a ‘victim’ … to having become a ‘survivor’ … to becoming a ‘thrive-or’! Their healing has been more than just ‘Hope!’ It has been a new reality!
I no longer see my life as a sea of despair.
I feel anchored and grounded for the first time.
Thank you for all you do to help me navigate to that place of self-worth.”
Consistent with your own priorities, let’s all promptly get on board the ship of effective healing for those of us who have been abused … and work together toward our significantly reducing the amount of future child sexual abuse in our local, regional, and international societies!
[i] Taylor, James. “Millworker”. Country Road Music, Inc. (1979). Permission/license from Alfred Music 10/18/17.
[ii] Maltz, Wendy. The Sexually Healing Journey. New York: William Morrow. (2013) p33.
[iii https://www.rainn.org/statistics/children-and-teens Drawn 01/08/2020.